Nobody says you have to be a gardener. If you decide not to be, as quickly as possible, you may still avoid gruesome encounters with leaf-sucking, orange-egged aliens that are out there right now, as you read — devouring crops you carefully nurtured from seed. These guerilla encounters can be hard-fought, vengeful battles, and as you may already know, the aliens are well equipped. They leave behind half-eaten strawberries, wilted potato vines, and salads that never were, just to let you know they’re winning. Sure, insects and other garden pests have to make a living, but why don’t they do it on some other planet?
One of the most voracious pests I have known is the tomato hornworm, who eats more foliage, proportionally, than a brontosaurus. The hornworm is 3″ to 4″ long, with a black horn projecting from one of the last abdominal segments. Handpicking works if you watch every day for sheared leaves, greenish-yellow eggs on the underside of leaves, and greenish-black droppings about the size the tomatoes would have been. (Actually more like radish seeds, but still, that’s a lot of chlorophyll). Hornworms can also be controlled by beneficial insects like ladybugs, green lacewings and trichogramma wasps, and by a biological spray called Bacillus thuringensis, variety Berliner if possible. Bt causes radical, lethal stomach aches in caterpillars. The good thing about Bt is it kills the caterpillars but does not kill other insects, allowing the beneficial bugs to survive and support your cause. (Many pesticides kill both the pests and the beneficials, sometimes resulting in more pests than you had before.)
The Tyrannosaurus rex of the garden, the ladybug, is there to help. Bless her heart, somebody’s takin’ care of business. Like other carnivores, she loves meat and “potatoes”– the nectar of small blossoms that typically surround a garden. So don’t get too antiseptic about weed control, or you may lose a great ally to greener pastures. You can mail order ladybugs or get them at your local nursery, but don’t set them loose in the heat of the day, or they may go aphid hunting on someone else’s property. Water your garden in the early evening and set them loose then, while you play Mozart or Nat King Cole. (Okay, you can skip the music.) The bottom line is, each carnivorous ladybug can put away 50 aphids a day, as well as pests such as the larvae of the Colorado potato beetle.
Colorado potato beetles look like they’re wearing gaudy, striped sports jackets, a fashion statement that doesn’t work for me. Just because they dress up doesn’t mean they can have my potato leaves. They are controllable in a small garden by hand-picking, but in a large garden, you’ll want to use Bt — variety San Diego tenebrionis if possible. Spray at first sign of infestation to control young larvae. Two early applications are recommended to provide adequate coverage.
Now, what about the slugs? How can a person forget fond memories like crouching in the garden in a raincoat, with a flashlight in one hand, while the other hand picked slugs off defoliated leaves? The best part is tossing the slimy, green-blooded blobs into a jarful of gasoline as you mutter, “Fifty fewer aliens.” However, that satisfaction is short-lived, because the next morning you discover that reinforcements continued the assault after you went to bed. Two whole rows of pea seedlings, clearcut. State of the art slug control has advanced in the last ten years to include non-toxic approaches like copper barrier tape that carries a minute electrical charge that slugs hate. A band of this tape on raised bed structures or boards might prevent the unlawful entry of these marauding, nocturnal thieves. There are other good products out there for slug control, such as Sluggo, Slug Saloon, and Slug Stop. You either zap them with iron phosphate, get them fatally drunk, or gross them out with a barrier of coconut oil soap. Diatomaceous earth, the sharp-shelled remains of tiny sea creatures, can also be a great barrier, piercing slugs’ skin so they can slither no more.
Many pests attack weak plants, but slugs don’t seem to follow that etiquette. Your garden soil can be rich and full of organic matter and your crops radiantly healthy, but slugs will slither up the stems to howl at the moon while they feast. Try laying small boards near infestations. You’ll find a coven of slugs under the boards in the middle of the day, cowering from the sun. Good luck– you may need it.
Mega-pests like deer may be closer to humans genetically than bugs are, but the catastrophic damage they can do to a fruit tree or row of greens has cast them as lead villains in the nightmares of many a victimized gardener. While neighbors are remarking how cute Bambi is, grazing so sweetly as she tiptoes towards the community garden, you’re reaching for a slingshot. After deer have eradicated ten hours of work in three and a half minutes, they’re not that cute anymore, and a few sharp stings in the flank may help define exactly where the buck stops, so to speak. Certain odor-carrying products like Deer Off , Not Tonight, Deer! and dangling Irish Spring soap bars are fairly effective in spoiling their gourmet appetites, at least until lunch.
“I love the deer as well as the roses,” writes Diane Ackerman, “so I decided to use smell as a weapon, and sprinkled a mixture of tobacco and naptha around the rosebushes. It worked, but it made the air raunchy and caustic. Unless you crave the smell of baseball players at winter camp, their mouths full of chewing mess, their pockets full of mothballs. This year I have another plan: lavender. Deer hate its strong nose-scrubbing smell.”
Used CDs and strips of reflective metal– wider than tinsel – hung from a fruit tree or garden fence will also keep deer away for a few nights, but really, the only sure preventative is a heavy-duty game fence, seven feet tall. According to certain tall tales I’ve been told, even that strategy is futile. “I’ve seen deer jump a fence ten feet tall,” one visitor to my garden told me, shaking his head.
But back to the bugs, for one last suggestion. Let’s say you’ve tried all the tricks mentioned above and many more, and the pests are still winning. Maybe it’s time to pick up David Gordon’s “Eat-A-Bug” cookbook, because if you can’t beat ’em, eat ’em. Fried Green Tomato Hornworms are one of his favorite recipes: “In a large skillet or wok, lightly fry the hornworms, about 4 minutes, and remove with a slotted spoon… Garnish the paired hornworms with a single basil leaf…” That is, if they didn’t already devour your basil.
-From The Zen of Gardening, by David Wann
